Roxas and The Easy Mac
by megganhatesyou
Summary: This is a random one-shot thing about how Roxas needs help making Easy Mac. He calls his good friend Axel. NO YAOI Axel helps Roxas make the mac... but will it turn out right? LOL R&R. 2nd chapter: McDonlad's Adventure!
1. Chapter 1

(A/N: Hi! This one-shot type story is about Roxas trying to make Easy Mac. Enjoy! R&R)

Roxas was starving! The only thing he could find that wasn't moldy was a little cup of Easy Mac. But he didn't know how to make it. So he called his friend Axel.

"Hi Axel! I'm really hungry. I can't make Easy Mac, so can you come over and help me?" Roxas asked.

"Dude, you're so stupid! There's directions right on the side!" Axel yelled. He hurt Roxas's ears...

"But they were scratched off..." Roxas whined.

"Fine. I'll come over to help you make Easy Mac because you're retarded..." Axel said.

"Yay! Thanks!" Roxas said.

They both hung up. A couple minutes later, Axel just walked in Roxas's house.

"Hey, I'm here to help you make mac now!" Axel yelled when he walked in.

"Yay!" Roxas exclaimed.

"Hmm…" Axel said as he picked up the cup of Easy Mac to inspect it.

"Hurry, Axel! I'm starving!" Roxas whined.

"Umm… okay. First, you should go to the sink and get some water in it?" Axel guessed.

"Okay…" Roxas walked over to the sink and filled the cup to the brim with tepid water.

"Umm… put it in the microwave for… 5 minutes?" Axel guessed again.

Roxas did that. In a few seconds, the boiling water started to go over the top of the cup. "AHH! THE MICROWAVES GONNA EXPLODE AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Roxas screamed.

"NO YOU RETARD! JUST TAKE IT OUT AND DUMP SOME WATER INTO THE SINK!" Axel screamed back.

Roxas opened the microwave. Steam went into his face. He tried to touch the Easy Mac, but it just about burned his hand off. "OWIEEEEEEE!" he screamed.

Axel sighed. He rolled his eyes and took the burning hot Easy Mac out of the microwave. The heat didn't bother Axel. He dumped some water into the sink and put it back in the microwave.

"I'm bored." Roxas declared after about 30 seconds.

"Sing a song, then." Axel replied.

"SPARKLE, SPARKLE, LITTLE AIRPLANE! HOW I WONDER HOW YOU FLY! UP ABOVE THE WORLD SO HIGH! LIKE AN *SS HOLE IN THE SKY! SPARKLE, SPARKLE, LITTLE AIRPLANE! HOW I WONDER HOW YOU FLY!" Roxas screeched more than sang.

"Wow. Where'd you learn that song?" Axel asked, staring in surprise at his younger friend.

"Seifer sang it once," Roxas replied innocently.

"Darn that kid…" Axel grumbled.

About 10 seconds later, the microwave started beeping.

"AHH! A TIME BOMB! RUN! HIDE!" Roxas yelled.

"Wtf Roxas? It's the dang MICROWAVE!" Axel yelled back.

"Oh." Roxas said, visually calming down.

Axel took the Easy Mac out of the microwave. "heeeere you go!" he said.

"Yay!" Roxas grabbed a spoon and stuffed a spoonful of the mac in his mouth. "Mmm- BARF! HEY, THIS IS ALL HARD AND CRUNCHY! AND IT's NOT AT ALL CHEESY!"

Axel picked out a noodle. "Nope, this isn't right…" He took the spoon from Roxas and started stirring it. He found the package of powder cheese.

"You know what, forget this…" Axel said. He chucked the mac into the trash can. "Let's just go to McDonald's."

"Ooh! Can I get a happy meal?" Roxas asked, clearly excited.

"Sure thing, kid." Axel replied.

(A/N: Now my weird one-shot type thing is over! Well, I hope you enjoyed Roxas's blondness. I didn't have to think much… a lot of things I would say LOL! Thanks to Doodle for giving me the idea! ^_^ Bye bye for now! Until my next fic! Please review!)


	2. A McDonald's Adventure

(A/N: Hi there～ Well, this was a one-shot, but I decided to continue it! Thanks for the reviews, guys! I love you all Enjoy Roxas's adventure at McDonalds! R&R)

Axel and Roxas were now at McDonald's. They walked op to the counter where they could order thier food.  
"May I take your order?" the lady at the counter snapped. She had blond hair that was slicked back except for two pieces that were sticking up. Her nametag said Larxene.  
"I want a big mac with a large fry and a large soft drink..." Axel said.  
"I-I-I I wanna Happy Meal!" Roxas exclaimed.  
Larxene glared at him, her expression saying "and?"  
Axel leaned over to Roxas "Uh, do you want a burger or nuggets?"  
"Oh! I-I uh, wanna cheeseburger without cheese! And fries!"  
"So, you want a hamburger?" Larxene asked impatiently.  
"NO!" Roxas yelled. "I WANT A CHEESEBURGER WITHOUT CHEESE!"  
"Roxas shut up!" Axel turned to Larxene. "Uh, just get the kid a cheeseburger."  
She repeated their orders.  
"I WANTED A CHEESEBURGER WITHOUT CHEESE!" Roxas yelled.  
Larxene looked like she was about to explode. Her face was slowly turning different colors.  
"Don't mind him..." Axel said. "Come on, Roxas. Let's find a place to sit."  
"Okay～" Roxas sang. He skipped to a tall table for two near the bathrooms. The tabletop itself was very small. "Let' sit here!"  
"Uhh... okay." Axel agreed. He assumed Roxas was innocent.  
"I'm going to get the food." Axel said.  
"Yay～" Roxas said cheerily.  
A minute later, Axel came back with their meals.  
"Ooh food!" Roxas cheered.  
Roxas and Axel started to eat. Little did they know, paparazzi of fangirls were taking pictures with non-flash cameras.  
"I knew they were together!" a fangirl whispered.  
One fangirl just couldn't take it anymore.  
"KAWAII! SQUEEEEEEEE! ROXXXXEEELLL!" She screamed. All the other Fangirls flipped her off and ran away. They all hid in random spots like the dumpster.  
"AHH! Stupid fangirls!" Axel exclaimed.

"What are they fans of?" Roxas asked in confusion.  
"Us." Axel whispered.  
"Oh." Roxas said. He reached his hand into the Happy Meal bag. He took out the plastic-wrapped toy.  
"Axel, can you open this for me?" Roxas asked, sounding very young.  
"Sure, kid." Axel took the bag from Roxas. He tried to rip it open. The bag just stretched. Axel tried ripping it with his surprisingly sharp teeth. It stretched even more.  
Roxas's eye twitched. "I. Want. My. HAPPY MEAL TOY!" he screamed in a dead-serious voice.  
Outside, all the perverted fangirls giggled.  
He snatched the bag from Axel and began to tear at it with his teeth and hands. Finally, it opened. A Shrek toy came out.  
Axel picked it up and inspected it. He turned the switch to on.  
Roxas gasped in fear. "Oh no! Axel, that toy is scary! Throw it away!"  
*cue fangirl giggle*  
'Hey!' The Shrek toy said. 'I'm warning you!'  
""AIEEEEEE!" Roxas screeched. He dove under the table, shaking.  
"Silly. Get up!" Axel demanded.  
"N-n-n-no!" Roxas stuttered.  
'Alright, c'mon!' The Shrek toy said.  
"AH!" Roxas yelled all the way to the bathrooms. He hid in a stall.  
Axel followed him. He smirked, putting Shrek in his pocket.  
"Axel?" Roxas immediately questioned when the bathroom door opened.  
Axel snickered. 'Hey! I'm warning you!' Shrek said.  
Roxas screamed.  
'Alright, c'mon!'  
Roxas peeped his head out the stall's door. There he saw Axel holding the Shrek toy.  
"Axel..." Roxas glared. Axel turned his head, and pretended to whistle. He chucked the Shrek toy perfectly into a toilet in a random stall that some guy was taking a dump in at the exact moment he flushed.  
'Hey!' was Shrek's last word.  
"I'll buy you an ice cream." Axel said, hoping Roxas wouldn't kill him.  
Roxas's eyes widened. "Ooh! I love ice cream!  
Axel bought two ice cream cones. They sat on the roof of a random building.  
Meanwhile, fangirls were still there with their non-flash cameras...  
"Hey Roxas, betcha don't know why fangirls use non-flash cameras!" Axel said in his know-it-all voice. "'Cuz if we see the flash, we'll know they're there. But without the flash, they could be taking pictures right now..."  
"AHH!" Roxas screamed.  
"Haha, just kidding!" Axel lied.  
"Good." Roxas breathed.  
Axel's body randomly started shaking. No...vibrating!  
"BURN BABY! MY NAME'S AXEL, A-X-E-L, GOT IT MEMORIZED?" Axel yelled.  
"Oh no! He's hyper!" Roxas said to himself.  
"BURN BABY!" Axel shot a random fireball at a building which then started to burn...  
Roxas carefully guided Axel off the roof. Fangirls took a lot of pictures of Roxas holding Axel's arm...  
"I WANNA PLAY WITH LARXEEENE!" Axel yelled. Broken-hearted AkuRoku fans ran away crying. HA!  
Roxas stuffed Axel in the passenger's seat. Roxas sat in the driver's seat. Axel dropped his keys off the roof in his hyper attack. So Roxas summoned his keyblade and shot a beam of light at the ignition. The car started up. Roxas carefully changed the gears to drive and pressed the gas. He nearly ran into someone's car before remembering the steering wheel.  
Roxas drove home perfectly! (OMG HOW WAS THIS DONE?) He only made a little dent in his garage while parking.  
"THAT'S THE POWER OF THE KEYBLADE!" Roxas randomly yelled.  
"kikikikikikikihehehee!" Axel laughed.  
Roxas locked all the doors in Axel's car and went inside.  
Axel felt a vibration on his butt. I left my phone at home... he thought.  
"Hello?" Axel said, answering the phone. It was Xion.  
"Hi? Uh, Axel?" Xion asked.  
"NO! This-is-Roxas-I-just-got-bit-by-a-flying-elephant-fangirl-half-breed-with-pickle-tusks-and-now-I-look-and-sound-like-Axel." Axel said in one breath, not even thinking of what he was saying.  
"Oh, do you want me to come over?" Xion asked in concern. Heh, she was gullible...  
"Nope! I'm fine!" Axel replied. "Bye!"  
"Bye?" Xion replied in a worried tone. But Axel already hung up.

EPILOUGE: Axel woke up in his car at 6AM and drove home... heh, had to include that.  
(A/N: I plan on this being the last chapter. Ahh! Don't make puppy eyes at meeeee! I cannot resist them! Maybe I will share with you more adventures... if I'm ever not lazy LOL! Expect a RokuShion coming soon! Btw, no one dies ^_^  
Review～ ;) Please?)


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